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1) Tie games have been abolished. Shootouts are exciting, yes, but how about this? The overtime starts with 4-on-4, but one of the four has to be the team’s GM. The excitement of overtime hockey is now compounded by the fact a player could now be creamed by a teammate he screwed in contract negotiations. Now that’s overtime tension!
2) Each team should be forced to put two monkeys in the lineup. I don’t know the reason why, but any venture that includes monkeys dressed as humans ends up being wildly successful.
3) Fining players for diving, or suspending them for starting a fight in the last five minutes of a game is all well and good, but really, is that a deterrent? The “fine” is usually a pittance to those players and a suspension is nothing more than a little holiday. I say we get ruthless. What will stop these wayward rascals? Homework! Have repeat offenders write a 5,000-word essay on what they did and why it was wrong. Then the essay is to be read aloud during the intermission. I guarantee these incidents will stop.
4) For chronic hookers and obstructionists, a more horrific fate. Since they slow the game down to a crawl, I believe in an eye for an eye. Instead of a two-minute penalty, make the minutes crawl by for them by forcing them to perform as the team mascot for the remainder of the game.
Have them out among the crowd starting the wave, throwing out promotional t-shirts, etc. As someone who has supplemented their income by dressing as a rooster and handing out flyers for a fast-food chicken place, I can assure you that time passes slowly, giving you ample opportunity to ponder “What have I done to deserve this?”
5) The shrinking of goalie equipment is a good idea, but once again it doesn’t go far enough. When I was a kid, those of us who couldn’t afford shin guards would lace up an Eaton’s catalogs. Make NHL goalies do the same, but with Victoria Secret catalogs. Smaller pads will help the game. Plus, it adds a little sex appeal.
These are just a few ideas off the top of my head. Others include flaming crossbars; hitting the losing coach in the face with a coconut cream pie; and, a conditional bye into the Stanley Cup final for the Boston Bruins (what can I tell you, I’m a fan). Of course, I don’t expect all these rules to be passed immediately. But then again I didn’t expect Tampa Bay to win the Stanley Cup so soon, either.
~Taken from Colin Mocherie's website. Hey, he's a canuck. |
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| 5) The shrinking of goalie equipment is a good idea, but once again it doesn’t go far enough. When I was a kid, those of us who couldn’t afford shin guards would lace up an Eaton’s catalogs. Make NHL goalies do the same, but with Victoria Secret catalogs. Smaller pads will help the game. Plus, it adds a little sex appeal. |
ok i know this is supposed to be a joke and all, but as a goalie i still have to voice my opinion about this and i am STRONGLY opposed to this idea. goalie pads are small enough. if they make them any smaller, all they will do is take all the skill out of the game... |
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| 5) The shrinking of goalie equipment is a good idea, but once again it doesn’t go far enough. When I was a kid, those of us who couldn’t afford shin guards would lace up an Eaton’s catalogs. Make NHL goalies do the same, but with Victoria Secret catalogs. Smaller pads will help the game. Plus, it adds a little sex appeal. |
ok i know this is supposed to be a joke and all, but as a goalie i still have to voice my opinion about this and i am STRONGLY opposed to this idea. goalie pads are small enough. if they make them any smaller, all they will do is take all the skill out of the game...[/QUOTE]
OMG Swanny you did not just say that!
I like the victories secret idea!
'Gotta love visual aides!
Just playin with ya man! nice too see you here.
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